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 Orange's Story

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Orange

Orange


Posts : 150
Points : 28000
Join date : 2013-07-08

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Orange's Story Empty
PostSubject: Orange's Story   Orange's Story EmptyFri Jul 12, 2013 3:01 pm

This is a story about my brother that I wrote a while ago. I'm posting this because I'm bored and have nothing else to do. Be warned the Grammar and spelling are pretty bad.

Chp 1:

Chp 2:

Chp 3:

Chp 4:

Chp 5:

Chp 6:


Last edited by Orange on Sun Jul 14, 2013 9:32 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Caesar Task

Caesar Task


Posts : 19
Points : 3854
Join date : 2013-07-07
Age : 29
Location : Ask my friends: Waldo, Carmen Sandiego, and Snowden

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Orange's Story Empty
PostSubject: Re: Orange's Story   Orange's Story EmptyFri Jul 12, 2013 3:51 pm

A fairly simple (in terms of plot and other elements), though entertaining story. Grammar and spelling are easily fixed with an editor, so it's not a problem. Since it's chapter one, I'm assuming there's a chapter two.
Since I've written fiction of my own and posted it on various sites, I can be even more critical if ya wish.
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Orange

Orange


Posts : 150
Points : 28000
Join date : 2013-07-08

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Orange's Story Empty
PostSubject: Re: Orange's Story   Orange's Story EmptyFri Jul 12, 2013 4:12 pm

Thanks for actually reading it Caesar! Since you mentioned it I'll add chapter two in right now. It gets really weird though. lol
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Caesar Task

Caesar Task


Posts : 19
Points : 3854
Join date : 2013-07-07
Age : 29
Location : Ask my friends: Waldo, Carmen Sandiego, and Snowden

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Orange's Story Empty
PostSubject: Re: Orange's Story   Orange's Story EmptyFri Jul 12, 2013 4:28 pm

It's obviously not intended to be a work of art, so I won't criticize it as such like most critics try to do.
And when I say that, there's not much to mention other than grammar and spelling.
All in all, it's an short, entertaining interlude.
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Orange

Orange


Posts : 150
Points : 28000
Join date : 2013-07-08

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Orange's Story Empty
PostSubject: Re: Orange's Story   Orange's Story EmptyFri Jul 12, 2013 5:10 pm

It wont let me add Chp 7 so im putting it here.

Chp 7:
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Juno Oni
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Juno Oni


Posts : 47
Points : 13200
Join date : 2013-07-02
Age : 29
Location : Meh, I'm lost somewhere.

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Orange's Story Empty
PostSubject: Re: Orange's Story   Orange's Story EmptySun Jul 28, 2013 2:22 am

Nice story :p
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